Guilt
by xMidnight Muse
Summary: Though he had managed to slay 42 Uruks at the battle of Helm’s Deep, he had failed to kill the one that had mattered the most. Oneshot.


**Summary:** Though he had managed to slay 42 Uruks at the battle of Helm's Deep, he had failed to kill the one that had mattered the most.

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **This is a nonprofit work of fiction. All canon characters and settings belong to JRR Tolkien. Only the plot and uncanon characters and settings belong to me.

* * *

The fortress of Helm's Deep was in utter disarray after the battle that had taken place just hours ago. The afternoon sky reflected the mood of the surviving men and elves with its ominous grey clouds.

Though they had been victorious against the Uruk-hai of Isengard, the casualties had still been devastatingly high. The air was thick with death and pain, making it difficult for anyone to feel celebratory.

Their mood was darkened further by the task they were currently faced with. The fortress and its surrounding grounds were simply littered with the bodies of those who were either dead or wounded. Those surviving soldiers who were fit enough now scoured the area carefully, pressing their fingers against the necks of their fallen comrades, hoping desperately for even the faintest of pulses.

Any beating of the heart gave the soldiers a chance to save a life. However, the precious pulses were few and far between, and the majority of the victims of battle proved to be completely lifeless, adding yet more devastation to the hearts of the battle weary men.

The Elven member of the Fellowship knew that it was his duty to be among those who sorted the injured from the dead, but he found that his heart was far too heavy with grief.

As an immortal, death was a foreign concept, even to a great warrior such as the young Mirkwood Prince. The high number of casualties weighed painfully in his thoughts, especially since his dear cousin, Haldir of Lórien, had been among the fallen.

The Elf closed his eyes in sorrow as he thought of Haldir, laying dead on the ground, his hair matted with blood and his eyes frozen open in death. He took comfort only in the knowledge that his kin had died for a noble cause and he knew that Haldir would not have wanted it any other way.

Reopening his eyes, the Wood-Elf stared out around him. He currently sat perched on the once fortifying wall of the Hornburg, one of his legs dangling over the edge of a massive gap that had been created by the Uruks during the night's battle.

Legolas sighed deeply as the unwelcome memories of that event flooded his mind.

**

_The sky was black with night, the stars hidden from view as the fight raged on beneath it._

_Legolas was concentrating his hardest as he killed Uruk after Uruk, adrenaline pumping viciously through his veins. The Elf himself carried few wounds, and any that he did were ignored as he focused on firing his bow and slashing his long twin knives. _

_The Prince had just managed to hit one of the foul creatures in the throat, causing it to instantly drop to the ground. He quickly notched another arrow and peered over the, searching for his next victim._

_His focus, however, was drawn quickly to a single Uruk bearing a torch. The creature ran through the battle field; the fire he carried gleaming white against the surrounding darkness. _

_Legolas watched with growing anticipation as the surrounding beasts cleared a path for the runner and several yards ahead, others were placing strange looking objects into what appeared to be a drain in the wall. The Elf's mind raced quickly, connecting the events and coming to one horrific conclusion._

_They were going to blow the wall._

_As the realization sunk in, the Elf Prince heard a voice cut through the mind numbing ring of battle._

"Togo hon dad, _Legolas!" Aragorn cried, watching the scene before him with fearful eyes._

_Taking a quick moment to aim, Legolas instantly fired his already prepared arrow down into the sea of Uruks._

_The green fletched shaft easily found its target, but the beast did not stop. With an arrow now protruding from its shoulder, the runner continued its path towards the weak spot in the fortress._

"Dogo hon!" _Aragorn yelled, his voice edging on desperation. _

_His body rigid with tension, Legolas loosed another arrow towards the fell beast. Again, the mark was hit, but again, the Uruk continued on unfazed._

_As fear filled the Elf, time seemed to slow. Legolas pushed his muscles desperately to move fast enough, but by the time he had another arrow notched to his bow string, it was already too late._

_The torch bearer sprinted the final few feet and leaped towards its target. There was a blinding flash and a deafening explosion as the warriors felt the wall shake and crumble beneath them. A gaping hole now stood in the enclosure._

_With no hesitation, the Uruks invaded the fortress._

_**_

At the memory, Legolas felt grief and guilt flood his body. He was, without a doubt, the only one who could be blamed for the disaster.

If only he had moved faster, aimed sharper or tried harder; lives could have been spared. Numerous deaths could have been avoided. Perhaps even the life of his dear cousin could have been spared.

The distraught Elf sighed deeply, "if only", he breathed solemnly.

With tear glazed eyes, he scanned the grounds covered with fallen soldiers. How many? He wondered to himself. How many had perished because of his inability to slay one measly Uruk?

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching steps. By the heavy fall of boots, Legolas knew at once that the on comer was none other than the Ranger whose orders he had failed to follow.

He partially willed the Man to change his course, for Legolas was not sure if he was ready to face his best friend. He could imagine the disappointment that would fill those piercing grey eyes.

No, he was certainly not ready; especially not now, when his heart was already so heavy with grief.

"Legolas, there you are _mellon nin_. Gimli and I have been searching all over for you" Aragorn said with relief as he clapped a hand to his friend's shoulder.

The Elf tensed slightly under the touch, something that did not go unnoticed by his friend.

"Legolas? _Man le trasta_?" he questioned, his brows knitting together in concern.

Aragorn watched as the Prince shook his head, "do not pretend, Estel. We both know that this occurred by no one's fault but my own" he replied.

"What are you talking about? What fault do you carry?" Aragorn was now confused and worried by the disparity in his friend's voice.

However, he was not granted by a response, only by the slumping of the Elf's shoulders.

Aragorn was about to restate his question when he took a moment to view his surroundings. When his eyes fell to the gap in the wall, his stomach dropped considerably.

"Legolas", he know gripped both of the Elf's shoulders and forced him to turn so that they were face to face, though the archer's eyes remained downcast. He would not face the disappointment in the Ranger's eyes.

"Legolas, _tiro nin_" Aragorn commanded. Legolas refused to comply, forcing the Dúnedain to hook his fingers under his friend's chin and bring his gaze upwards.

"_Mellon nin_, please do not tell me that you blame yourself for the breaching of the wall" he pleaded.

Silence rang between them for a few moments. "How can I not, Estel?" the Elf finally spoke. He swallowed hard before continuing. "I was given the opportunity to stop the torch bearer and… I… I failed."

The word felt strange on the tongue of a being who had single-handedly slain countless orcs, spiders, wargs and other hideous beasts and lived to tell the tale. But it was unavoidable, for the words were true.

"I failed, and as a result, numerous lives were lost. Innocent lives that should have never been involved in this mess of a war in the first place." He spoke with a hint of anger in his voice, though it was impossible to tell what, or who, that anger was directed at.

"I failed them. I failed Rohan, Lórien, Haldir… And I failed you", his head dropped to stare at the ground once more. "The most renowned archer in Arda could not bring down one mere Uruk" he concluded, shaking his head in disbelief and frustration aimed at himself.

Aragorn had listened intently to his friend, yet he could not believe the ridiculous things that came from his mouth.

"No", Aragorn staid sternly, lowering himself to his knees so that he was no longer towering over the sitting Elf. "Stop this craziness, Legolas. I will not have you bring yourself down in such a way."

The Prince merely sighed in a defeated fashion, "that is enough, Estel. You need no longer hide your disappointment in order to spare my feelings. You have every right to be upset with me."

The Ranger recoiled slightly as though he had been slapped. He was well aware of the stubbornness of Elves, especially concerning the Mirkwood Prince, but this was madness. How could his friend possibly believe that he blamed him for the fall of the enclosure?

"The only thing that disappoints me, my friend, is how little faith you seem to have in me" Aragorn said softly, staring intently into the Elf's deep blue eyes.

He reached to take one his friend's slender hands in his own. "You have known me for far too long to allow such foolish thoughts to enter your mind."

Legolas seemed to soften slightly, yet he could not relieve the guilt that pressed on his mind. "But…" he attempted to begin, but he was cut off by the Man.

"No 'but's. _Agorech vae, mellon nin_, and I will simply not allow you to think any differently."

There was silence while Legolas sorted through his thoughts, inner conflict evident in his eyes.

"I suppose you are right" the Elf finally stated, frowning ever so slightly.

"Do not suppose; be sure. _Saes_, erase all doubt. You are completely blameless and you are a mighty warrior. Nothing can change that. And more so, nothing could ever make me disappointed in you. You know that".

A slight smile pulled at the Elf's lips, his eyes showing gratitude. "Of course. You are right, as always."

Aragorn returned the smile as he pushed himself back to his feet. He then stretched a hand to his friend and pulled him to his feet as well.

The Elf took a moment to place a hand on the Ranger's shoulder. "_Hannon le, gwador nin_", he said softly voicing his appreciation for his dear friend.

Without another word, the two companions departed together to aid the battle's aftermath, each with their hearts lightened considerably.

* * *

Elvish Translations:

_Togo hon dad, Legolas! _– Bring him down, Legolas!

_Dogo hon! _– Kill him!

_Mellon nin _– My friend

_Man le trasta? _– What troubles you?

_Tiro nin _– Look at me

_Agorech vae _– You did well

_Saes_ – Please

_Hannon le_ – Thank you

_Gwador nin _– My brother


End file.
